Item
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Description
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Background
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Image
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Link
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Dust of the Earth
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Wipe dust from your shoes to condemn the Devil to Hell!!
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Old missionary trick: If someone slams the door in your face, wipe off your shoe dust. That will teach them!
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Enchanted Snot Cloth
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The silk cloth gives great healing powers.
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More than once JS sent a healing blessing to others using a handkerchief.
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Golden 8 - Ball
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Gives secret clues. But only to those who trulyBELIEVE !
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Mentioned in the Book of Mormon. A super cool GPS. JS said he saw it.
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KolobParchment
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Magical paper allows the bearer to channel the minds of long dead Wizards!
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Book of Abraham parchment found to have nothing to do with Abraham and not even close to the time period.
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Magic Fingers
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Stun gun hidden in hand. No batteries needed.
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Nephi once got super angry with his brothers and did a Harry Potter like shocking spell on them.
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Mahonri’s Stones
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A single touch by the Master Wizard creates eternal illumination.
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Stones touched by Jesus in 2500 BC to light the submarines built by the first Native Americans.
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Missionary Badge
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Being a missionary allows you to cut off the arms of all your enemies!!
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Wearing the Badge protects you and gives your parents money!
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Mystical Vestments
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Protect against the fiery darts of SATAN !!
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Temple garments must be worn night and day and have Masonic markings. Lots of stories about it stopping bullets and fire.
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Necromancy Magic Wands
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Wood taken from the crypt is known to have special healing properties.
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A coffin that JS was carried in was later made into canes that many believed could heal.
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Olive Oil - the Extra Virgin juice
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Just a drop on the woeful one’s crown will bring healing.
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Consecrated oil is placed on the heads of people when being healed.
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Ollie’s Rod
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Gently caress to the rod to see what it produces.
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Oliver Cowderytried to learn to use a divining rod like JS and failed.
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ThePhilosopher’sStone
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Put it in a hat and it turns into a iPhone!
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Seer Stone would glow and have words spelled out on it when JS put it in a hat.
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Porter’s Sensational Tresses
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No bullet or blade could hurt him.
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Like Samson in the Bible, Porter Rockwell was given strength through his hair to protect JS and Brigham Young.
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Shocking Box
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Shocking stones whichcounfound the greedy and evil.
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Surrounded the Gold Plates. Shocked JS when he tried to get the plates too soon.
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Sweet Meat
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Gave women plenty of “Suck” … tasted sweet.
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In the Book of Mormon the Nephites were near starvation. God blessed the meat so they could eat it raw and it made the women super strong.
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Sword of the Headless
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The saber will shine forth until the Great One returns!!
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Nephi from the Book of Mormon cut off a man's head with his sword and stole it. JS said he saw it.
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Temple Altar
(Not for sacrificing children)
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Surround this altar in the Holy Order of Prayer. Secret handshakes and all.
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Prayers that are spoken while surrounding the altar of the temple are more likely to come true.
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Urim andThummim
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Supernatural spectacles for seeing the past and future.
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Odd combination of iPad, virtual reality goggles and Viking battle armor. Used to translate Book of Mormon?
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Wonka’s Golden Ticket
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Carry this pass everywhere as proof of righteousness / MLM skills.
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A pass to get in the temple and will bless the person who carries it. Also “proves” honesty when selling essential oils.
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Friday, January 15, 2016
Mormonism's Magical Items
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
The LDS Church is NOT " Pro - Family " !!
20 Questions to Ask when people say
“The LDS Church is “PRO - FAMILY”
Source Priority to Official LDS Resources:
1. Does the official LDS magazine say, “Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing”.
Yes
2. Did Joseph Smith marry women that his wife Emma did NOT know about?
Yes! Around 35 women
3. Did Wilford Woodruff marry a 15 year old girl when he was 47?
Yes… Emma Smoot
4. If a Mormon drinks coffee can they go their child’s temple wedding?
No
5. Who does the Mormon Church consider an “apostate”: A gay man who is legally married to his husband for ten years or a man who hires a prostitute every night?
The legally married gay man
6. Does the LDS Church have rules about what couples can do during sex?
Yes
(If people say that isn’t a rule anymore, ask them to show you where the policy was changed.)
7. How many times can an 18 year old young man call their parents every year on their mission?
Two times
8. Does the LDS Church discourage “mixed race marriages”?
Yes
9. Are there families that are split up for eternity because the father speaks in favor of gay marriage?
Yes
10. Did a Mormon Apostle once say, “'I think no more of taking a wife than I do of buying a cow”.
Yes
11. Were the young women from Europe who join the church in the 1850’s told about polygamy, and were then divided up like cattle when they arrived in Salt Lake?
Yes
12. Are adult children of LGBT parents required to “disavow” the marriages of their parents before they can be baptized?
Yes
13. Did Joseph Smith take wives from active LDS men and have them sealed to himself?
Yes
14. In the Mormon temple today, do women raise their hands to the square, bow their head and promise to hearken to counsel of their husbands?
Yes
15. Are there active worthy women that cannot become sealed to their husband because the church refuses to revoke the sealing from a man she divorced?
Yes
16. Are there thousands of parents who cannot attend the marriage of their children each year because they are not allowed to enter the temple?
Yes
17. Do Mormons teach that only Mormons will be with their families in Heaven?
Yes
18. Did the LDS Church encourage gay men to marry women?
Yes
19. How many hours a week is an LDS Bishop away from his family?
The hours range from 20 - 40 or more
Source: LDS.org
20. Are children and families “shunned” in the LDS Church?
Yes
Source: LDSLiving
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Save The Bishops !! (A 12 - Step Process)
12 Steps to Save the Bishops !!
- Reduce and delegate more of the Bishop’s duties.
- Train them better and more frequently.
- Reimburse them well for any costs and travel expenses.
- Send members needing counseling to trained professionals.
- Encourage young teens to discuss sexual questions with their parents or trained professionals.
- Put windows in the door to the Bishop’s office.
- Allow women to make real decisions and hold a greater array of callings.
- Create an environment where “doubters” can feel free to ask and discuss issues in class.
- Make the message of the church be one of inclusion and not exclusion.
- Allow our LGBT brothers and sisters to join with us in worship without guilt.
- End the damaging message of a black and white church that is says that all other creeds are an abomination.
- Allow the Bishops to truly seek after the lost sheep, not butcher them.
In Support of Bishops
I have been blessed throughout my life with kind, hard working Bishops. Men of faith, honor and a devotion to service. I have never had a Bishop who hurt me or acted condescending in any way. These servants need our support. Please don't abandon your Bishop!
The job of Mormon Bishop has evolved dramatically over the past 180 years. Early in the Nauvoo and Kirtland periods of LDS Church History they were primarily involved in the "temporal" affairs of the church. Ie: settling land disputes, helping the poor and widows and running a storehouse of goods in case of famine. For awhile, they even got paid....but not anymore.
Over time, the responsibilities of a Bishop have grown and morphed into an often thankless job that is on the front lines of a quickly changing Mormonism. And they serve while carrying on the normal full time duties of family, jobs and life.
They are in the trenches, working and supporting men and women with real doubts and problems while the leadership in Salt Lake is often slow to recognize the genuine suffering of many of the Saints. Bishops are asked to make black and white decisions at a time when society is becoming increasingly more nuanced.
The list of Bishop duties can be overwhelming: Ward Finances, callings, missionary work, interviews, counseling, meetings, meetings and more meetings. The time alone can easily stretch to 30 or 40 hours per week. Hours away from family, fun and too often... sleep. This is selfless service of men who truly believe they are partially responsible for the salvation of their ward flock.
I was in a meeting recently where the Stake President gleefully announced "Every ward in the stake would soon have its own set of full time missionaries!". Realize please that I don't live in Mexico or the Philippines. I live in a tiny rural community in the Mormon corridor that is about 70 percent LDS. I have nevermo (Never-Mormon) friends who have been approached 20 times or more by missionaries.
I see the missionaries and feel sorry for them. They have little to do. Sadly for the Bishop, he is partly responsible to keep them busy, fed and housed in addition to keeping pretty normal 18 year old boys out of trouble.
Unfortunately it gets worse....
How is a strongly believing Bishop supposed to respond to a 17 year old young man or woman who admits to pornography or masturbation when the leader himself most likely "struggled" with the same things as a youth? 
How can they mix their genuine compassion for a young man admitting he is gay with the message from the Apostles that homosexual behaviour of any form is a sin next to murder?
How unfathomable of a situation puts a 50 year old Bishop in a closed room alone with a 16 year old girl admitting to sex with her boyfriend, or perhaps her girlfriend?
And what message have Bishops received recently from the excommunication of so many prominent Mormon "agitators"? The official word from Salt Lake is that it is OK to have questions, but when you express your doubts publicly you are in danger of losing your membership. I feel sorry for Kate Kelly's Bishop. I have no doubts that he was given instructions from his leaders to excommunicate her. Mormon Bishops doing the dirty work for the Utah central church.
Bishops need help. Unfortunately the help is not coming from the General Authorities. The church's hierarchy is increasingly naive to the real world problems that the local leaders face. There are men and women with sincere doubts about the issues related to LDS doctrine and hIstory. The members are exposed to messages across the spectrum from podcasts, blogs and Facebook.
Ironically, those same Bishops whose job it is to assure and strengthen the members are often unaware that those issues or that the church is releasing controversial essays which are putting the membership on edge. I've heard multiple stories of Bishops who've been blindsided by statements on Joseph Smith's polygamy or the Book of Abraham and declare them as "anti- Mormon" lies until the facts are confirmed on LDS.org.
There are no easy answers, but I’m afraid if Bishops are not given more financial and time relief that they will become those lost sheep that need to be saved
12 Steps to Save the Bishops !!
Reduce and delegate more of the Bishop’s duties.
Train them better and more frequently.
Reimburse them well for any costs and travel expenses.
Send members needing counseling to trained professionals.
Encourage young teens to discuss sexual questions with their parents or trained professionals.
Put windows in the door to the Bishop’s office.
Allow women to make real decisions and hold a greater array of callings.
Create an environment where “doubters” can feel free to ask and discuss issues in class.
Make the message of the church be one of inclusion and not exclusion.
Allow our LGBT brothers and sisters to join with us in worship without guilt.
End the damaging message of a black and white church that is says that all other creeds are an abomination.
Allow the Bishops to truly seek after the lost sheep, not butcher them.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Drowning Pregnant Mothers, Puppy Dogs and Panda Bears
Drowning Pregnant Mothers, Puppy Dogs and Panda Bears
As a young child I had a Fisher Price Noah’s Ark Toy. It had a plastic boat and figurines of Brother and Sister Noah. There were pairs of zebras, tigers, giraffes, elephants and camels. The male animals were big and masculine looking and the females had lipstick or a bow on them. Looking under their tails revealed no gender specific characteristics.
I would play with the set in the bathtub. Turning on the water would cause a panic and Noah and I would throw all the animals into the ark to save them from destruction in the Great Flood. With Noah and the animals safely into the boat, I would relax (and get my gender specific parts washed).
The Story of Noah and the Great Flood is a simple Bible story that nearly everyone knows. It also gives Mormons a clear connection to traditional Christianity. The children’s version has drama, cute fury animals and faith all mixed in with lots of really bad guys who die in unseen ways.
The LDS Church has embraced the Noah’s Ark Story fully. The LDS Bible Dictionary says, “During Noah’s time the Earth was completely covered with water.” and as recently as 2011 President Thomas S. Monson referred to the “days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood.” The Church is also dependent on the Ark journey to explain how humanity got from Jackson County, Missouri (where Mormon’s believe the Garden of Eden to have been) to the Middle East. In dozens of General Conference talks I’ve read, not one refers to any part of the Noah story as myth or symbolism..
While watching the 2014 movie Noah with Russell Crowe, I watched with horror as all those “wicked” babies and children were killed by the rising waters. The idea that only Noah’s family was worth saving is troubling. Didn’t most people just have a few goats or sheep and gathered food in the hills to survive? This wasn’t Las Vegas or Rio de Janeiro at Carnival. Was there reason for God to justify a mass genocide?
All of this becomes even more difficult when you consider the teaching that Jesus Christ is the God of the Old Testament. The Deseret Book paintings of a Way-too-White Jesus holding little children doesn’t quite match the vision of a vindictive, heartless God that drowns babies.
The story of the Flood has continued to unravel as I’ve looked into the science of it. Where did enough water come from to cover the Earth as high as Mt. Everest? How was Noah able to collect a million species of insects? Did he have private cages for each beetle pair for their honeymoon cruise? Did no animals die on the ark? Who cut down the 150 acres of forest needed to build a vessel that large? How do you supply 20 pounds of fresh meat daily to the grizzlies, polar bears, lions, tigers and cheetahs? How big were the storage tanks to hold fresh drinking water for the herd?
Even a mix of fresh and salty water would kill every fish, all but a very few plants and every other sea creature like, whales, urchins, clams, crabs etc. And the geologic record of a catastrophic global flood would be distinct: a massive, worldwide layer of sediment mixed with billions of fossilized plants and animals.. God himself said, "and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth." Where are the fossils?
In spite of all this contrary evidence, the church does not, or cannot back away from the Global Immerse-the-Earth Flood Story. An Ensign article in 1998 said, “Latter-day Saints believe that Noah was an actual man, a prophet of God, who …. gathered his family and a host of animals onto the ark, and floated safely away as waters covered the entire earth.”That statement does not leave a lot of wiggle room.
The flood story appears in many cultures, and I think that each version of the myth can be taught in a way that encourages valuable lessons about obedience, hard work, repentance and family. It is concerning, however, when the Church leadership, comprised of many that are educated and successful, cannot let go of global flood as historical event.
In recent years the LDS Church has been willing to back away from statements made by many of the prophets. In the recent essay on race, Brigham Young was thrown (somewhat) under the bus for denying temple ordinances to African Americans. Statements in the Book of Mormon claiming that the Lamanites are the PRINCIPAL ancestors of the American Indians have been removed. We no longer teach that Catholics are the Great and Abominable Church. And it isn’t even taught anymore that we will all get our own planet someday. (This last one is a bit disappointing. I had plans to make brussels sprouts taste like candy corn in my world.)
Stubbornly, and even to their detriment, the LDS Church still officially clings to polygamy, the Tower of Babel, Kolob and The Three Nephites while teaching that a love-one-another God would drown millions of children (including Noah's grandkids), pregnant mothers, puppy dogs and panda bears.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
The Mormon Church's Angelic Problem
Check out the excellent article on the Rational Faith Web Site:
http://rationalfaiths.com/mormon-churchs/
http://rationalfaiths.com/mormon-churchs/
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